not caring is cool

I’ve been thinking about how cool it is to not care.  What inspired this idea?  A plain yet physically attractive girl at work, who is also the most careless girl I’ve met.  She always stands with one leg behind the other.  From my perspective, she does the bare minimum at work and waits for the end of the workday.  When she walks past people in a tight space she squeezes her arms together in front of her which forces her boobs up and she giggles out a “sorry…” She hardly talks to other employees either.  She has seen me when I was getting filling out my application.  She glanced at me once and when she caught my eyes she quickly looked away and her hair covered her face like curtains at the end of a show.  Why should she care about me?  Isn’t she curious about who I am?  Maybe I’m the greatest person she could ever meet.  She is really hot, girly and young and every male at work wants to fuck her, and the short Mexicans who can’t seduce her in English want to fuck her twice.  Sometimes she looks out the window out of boredom.  She doesn’t like to work, but doesn’t display a big attitude about that.  Her life is probably ok to her and happy at times.  There are probably times when she is sad, but overall she seems to feels content.  It’s as if whatever happens will just not threaten who she is, or her beauty and sex appeal.  I’m sure she is aware that all men drool over her, and that her sex appeal can get her much of what she wants.  A career, a promotion, a wealthy husband, friends and everything else beauties can get.  Surprisingly, she is not showy, and appears very modest with her actions.

Her lack of effort to initiate or carry on conversations besides gossip with her tight circle of friends makes her seem exclusive and cold.  But I severely admire how cool she is.  She exemplifies the women’s role in shaping evolution.  Every guy wants her and she knows it.  She doesn’t need to do anything to get a guy—she could be fucking at any moment of the day.  All she has to do is let the guys know or not resist.  But, she’s got the final say because she owns her pussy, and chooses who to let in, and that’s the bottom line.  And evolution has made it so the numerous males present themselves and the woman chooses only one who she feels is best suited.  This girl doesn’t need to care about others, because she is probably overwhelmed by how much and, or how many people care about her from the moment they lay eyes on her.  (About ½ the world.)  I think one knows when one is beautiful and young.  Basically, she doesn’t have to try, because even if she doesn’t try, she will still get a lot of what she wants, and that eliminates worry from her life.  People who have no worries are cool.

The more you care about something the more that something has the potential to frustrate you and give you problems.  In order to be affected by something you need to first care for it.  Nobody is affected by people they do not know, but many are affected by people they love or who love them.  If nobody cares about you and you want to have a healthy social life, then you start caring about other people.  But the vice versa is true. So a healthy social life should result in you caring less about people in general.  You’re scope of the people to care about will shrink.  You will become more selective about who you care about, because there are only a set number of caring hours in a day.

Not caring is a sign that you are above your problem.  Say you are in an argument about some political or social issue and your opponent is trying to convince you that he is right.   If you give up by implying that you don’t care, that conveys that you are so important that you are above this argument, and your unwillingness to care shows how calm you are within the situation and about the issue.  It shows that this issue is not a problem for you, yet is a problem for your opponent because obviously he is loosing more sleep over it than you.  And it’s not sexy to be very tired. Just tired enough to not care. Furthermore, it now has become a bigger problem for him to make you care about the issue he cares about so that he can convince you his viewpoint is right.    People who are careless are sexier, cooler, and calmer than people who care.  They do not care enough to get into heated arguments turned into fighting, and so they cannot bother anyone who cares.   Caring is always found alongside a problem, but carelessness is not associated with problems.  If nobody cared, there wouldn’t be any problems and wars.  People care when they feel threatened or some aspect of themselves is in jeopardy.  When you are happy you don’t care about being happy.  You are just participating in the moment not knowing that you are happy.  The only way you can care about happiness is if you are insecure about it, or don’t feel happy.

If you care more about someone than they care about you, they stop caring and they aren’t attracted to you as much.

Girls are attracted to celebrities and important individuals in part because those individuals don’t care about them to begin with and the girls have to work hard to get them to realize how special they really are.  Whoever cares less is more important to the caring people, and most people are caring.  Because it’s the carer’s job to care about the careless people.  Politicians pretend to care, and that artificial sincerity is even worse than caring in terms of being cool and sexy.  Caring people care both about careless people and caring people.

Look at fashion and advertisements, especially ads that are for clothing.  The models are often not smiling, emotionless.  They may be lit in dramatic lighting and emotional lighting, wear clothes in a way that conveys a certain emotion, but the individuals themselves are emotionless, especially on runways; like physical objects.  Sunglasses are always in style.  They cover up the eyes, windows to the inside of a person.  With sunglasses you are only limited to emotions and facial expressions that can be conveyed by the movements of the mouth. But we all know that a sincere smile is dependent on the eyes.  Models look so cool on ads because they make the viewer desire their situation, and the viewer becomes envious of them.  There is a certain air of disinterestedness that models often convey.

Sexy girls walk the streets, they don’t even turn their heads, sometimes you see them miss very beautiful interesting things.  Its sexy to be on a mission, have a destination or a goal to reach and be absolutely focused on that goal without getting distractions.  Clarity and confidence.

Engaging in activities that show you’re caring is not cool.  The more controversial the subject is the less cool it is to talk about.  The least coolest things to talk about are politics, and then even worse is religion (although it could be argued that both are equally un-cool topics).  If you talk about the weather the majority of people will agree to what you say, and it’s a neutral topic.  But you can really go wrong with saying that McCain is nice, or that the trickle up theory sure is great!

This is why I don’t understand why people, especially younger people are so proud to show everyone that they voted.  I mean there are plenty other things you could do while you’re young.  Rock, fuck, laugh, and if you don’t have a sense of humor, then drink and dance.  But please don’t smugly tell me you voted today.

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Beauty and Intelligence (~2008)

It’s not easy to be an intelligent and beautiful person.  Especially if you are a woman.  The reason for “especially if you are a woman,” is because men seem to be more easily swayed by looks than women.  If you are a beautiful girl then people love looking at you, especially men.  But if you start talking about something, then whatever words you say must be more fascinating and on a higher level than your physical beauty in order for others to actually comprehend your message or thoughts.  Otherwise the content of what you say will be overshadowed by the way you look (the way you are) and will make whatever you say not as important and interesting as the way you look.  So it must be really frustrating to be intelligent and beautiful because lots of people might just not be interested in what you have to say even though what you have to say is interesting.   In order for them to be actually interested in the content of your story or thoughts, it has to be more interesting than your physical beauty.  And that is a very hard thing to achieve since we (esp. men) really feel with our eyes.   However, if one isn’t beautiful then physical beauty is really crossed out as a way of attracting attention, so one is more dependent on what they say and how.  And not just attracting attention but bringing interest to what you have to say…?
Sight overwhelms audio.

I Like Garbage

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When I first visited New York, before 2007, I thought it was cool, but I didn’t want to live here.  I remember thinking that for one, it is very dirty.  Garbage on the sidewalks, garbage on the streets, garbage on the subway tracks, towering piles of garbage bags on the sidewalk ready for pick-up.  Gross greenish-colored puddles in crevices near sidewalks, with that shimmering gasoline reflection.  Oil stains, black dots from gum, papers, cups, bags, beer cans, broken glass, poop, furniture parts, mittens; the list goes on an on.  It makes every inch of the city feel dirty, and the kind of dirty that just cant be simply washed off.  Ever.  And there are so many unpleasant smells.

As of summer 2010, I began to appreciate the disgusting smells and mess.  It was no longer something that repulsed me.  It was like acquiring a taste for beer after you hate it the first time you try it, and then grow to enjoy the unique flavors of beer.  I no longer felt “at home” when I went back to the clean, calm streets of Milwaukee, without a scattering trash on the street, dirty smells, or nasty thick puddles…I became empathetic to the puddles, smells, repulsive fluids and other things…their origin.  I saw their unique beauty.  Still aesthetic issues were secondary.  What I realized was I sincerely admired what this garbage represented.  It was evidence of life.  It came from people, from hurried people trying to get on with their daily and not so daily life, it was proof that people are busy, existed and were most of all alive! It’s kind of a sexy notion.  The same way you think a dance club or bar is sexy if it is full of people.  I enjoy seeing overflowing trashcans, with piles of trash on top and scattered around the can—that failed to accommodate the demanding energy of the masses and the garbage collectors that couldn’t keep up with people’s excrements.  Without garbage on the street, it feels like there are no inhabitants of the city, something feels wrong—the gritty architecture and grimy sidewalks look superficial without litter and waste.  Yes, New York is a beautifully grimy city—it reminds me of the Velvet Underground, the lives of poor creatives, and the nature of punk.

Now when I need to throw something away and there isn’t a cop in front of me, I just let it fall from my hand naturally, or throw it somewhere unless there is a trashcan to practice my aim.  But if I miss I just don’t bother to pick it up, because I want to contribute to the aesthetic of New York City.  And in Milwaukee or other cities I do the same because otherwise the streets just don’t look right; too perfect to be lived streets.

I’m almost inclined to call this garbage ridden cityscape sexy?  It signifies danger and adventure, carelessness, and walking amongst it heightens one’s awareness. Maybe it makes people more comfortable at being closer to other clean people instead of the dirty streets.  Clean streets are stale, somewhat pretentious, and lack a sense of touch.  A grimy, dirty, decaying cityscape makes people look better and places more approachable.  If the place is too clean and perfect it can highlight people’s physical blemishes.  But amongst the context of garbage a lot more people look clean, sexy and pretty because of the contrast.