On these two subway benches sat three girls that were most likely between the ages of 17 and 20. I was reading a book. They were dressed in an attempted fashionable way that made the most of inexpensive accessories and clothes. Nothing too radical, yet quite individualistic. Two or three of them utilized colorful accessories or color of clothing—a splash of green popped out to my eyes. One of them was wearing shorts that one would wear in the summer months, yet it was only early march and still chilly. They were casually discussing someone they knew in a nondramatic way. The one in the middle was wearing sunglasses over her eyes. The one on the right seat was shaking her foot. When the train conductor announced that it was the Fulton St. stop they suddenly realized that this is where they had to get to using the “C” train. They started doubting they should get off the “G” train and mentioned out loud, “maybe there are two Fulton stops?” I soon realized they were probably getting off at the wrong stop; they meant to go to the Fulton stop at the bottom tip of Manhattan, not the one in Brooklyn, but I ended up not saying anything.
I called my friend Fabio.
We didn’t know what to do.
On the way to Fabio’s some former classmates spotted me on the bus. When me an one of the got off she said, “have a good night!” I wished her a good night too, and she went the other way.
We met up at a bar.
Then we decided to go to his friend’s birthday party.
All the girls seemed to be taken. Or they were from Austria.
I told Fabio: lets become more optimistic.
I drank beer.
And so did he.
And a Spanish girl drank from a very very large margarita glass. It was so large, in fact that even though she took sips, it didn’t look like there was less liquid in the glass.
Fabio tried to steal my iphone because I was more preoccupied with it than the party.
A guy I met was very excited about me, even though he just met me. I speculated that he was gay.
I found out he wasn’t.
I thought about taking ecstasy.
I went to the bathroom. (2nd time). I researched ecstasy from the bathroom downstairs.
A girl was there who seemed distressed.
She was checking herself out in the mirror and asked me if she looked like dyke.
I looked at her chest and told her she didn’t. It seemed there was something on her mind which I wasn’t aware of. (later I found out it had to do with not getting with the guy she wanted).
We introduced each other.
I was already before that beginning to feel optimistic.
Then I left with my friends to the Woods (a bar with a dancefloor). (we go there almost every weekend.) Its where we end up at the end of the night. I like the place. I think.
Soon I went up to explore the dancefloor at the top.
As I walked onto it I casually asked a girl that was sitting on a chair with a phone or something or nothing: “Hey, why aren’t you dancing?”
She spontaneously replied, “I don’t’ know” as she slid off the chair and began to dance as if on cue.
She started to dance with me, quickly. I liked that a lot. It was fascinating. She was very hot. I became optimistic.
My optimism increased (and it wasn’t just my optimism that increased).
But also, (it would seem), the possibility of me having sex with her tonight!
I knew it wasn’t unrealistic because of the enthusiastic way she was dancing and because of the way she was rubbing her butt on my crotch. And the way she touched my hands. And I think other areas of my body. She was a wild dancer.
I asked what her name was. She said Mary, and she smiled so lovely, with squinting eyes. When I thought about it later, part of the reason I fell in love with that delightful moment was that it ma de me want to come on that face.
Then I kissed her neck. Or maybe it was some other part of her.
Or maybe I asked her name after I kissed her. (oh well I guess it doesn’t matter)
She had a tattoo on her arm.
Then she said she likes pain. Then I asked her: you like paint? She re-affirmed what I already hear, and explained a bit.
I asked her if she likes it when I pull her hair? Or she just told me that.
So I pulled her hair.
A friend of mine passed by and checked us out. I think he was positively proud of my accomplishment.
And after I pulled her hair she ferociously pushed her face into mine and made out with me. At the same time she dug her fingers into my back or something very viciously. We embraced tightly. It kind of hurt, with her scratching and digging fingers into me, and I thought about that feeling, and it was an interesting feeling. Painful and erotic at the same time.
Because she was so hard on me, I became harder on her.
We flirted. I felt very suave, and somehow it was naturall.
I told her in her ear: I want to tell you something later.
She told me I should tell her now cause she might not be here later.
I was surprised, but kept dancing.
We made out some more. She wasn’t very good at making out.
She bit my neck, very hard. Ouch, I thought.
She stopped dancing, and At this point or so, she turned around and said I’m a little too rough with her. I was confused and said that she said that she liked pain. She said you have to be rough but gentle.
I agreed to her terms.
Said she has to go to the bathroom.
I thought, oh shit. She is gonna disappear. That’s what girls do. It was so sudden that I didn’t know anything too clever to say in order to make sure she came back.
I said something to her.
I stood and waited.
Then I began to doubt that she was coming back.
I couldn’t see a big bathroom line.
But I kept standing and waiting. Maybe she was actually going to come back, and it would suck if we missed each other.
I checked my iphone for the time.
I checked my phone for the time again, but I forgot what time it was when I last checked.
Then my friend came by who came by earlier and was proud of me and he asked where my girl went?
I told him that she said she went to the bathroom but that she probably went home.
He said no way lets go find her.
I followed him around pointlessly.
I went up to my friends and said I’m leaving. It was bar- time anyways.
I was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, disappointed. This was so stupid and unfortunate. Like what the fuck?
I looked up directions to my house and went to the bus stop. I thought a little but about her on the way. And a lot about how hot she was and how awesome it would’ve been to fuck her. I figured not every girl is like her.
I came to the bus stop and waited. It was supposed to come in 3 minutes, but in much more than 3 minutes it still wasn’t there.
I slammed my fist on the metal grates. It made a very loud sound which I liked. I did it again. And again, but this time I hit it harder.
I was pissed and followed another route home. It was dark and cold and didn’t look like a very safe place and time to be. But something about that was attractive.
I ran a little bit.
When I got to the next bus stop it still didn’t come I think, so I went to another bus stop I think.
Finally I got on the bus and realized that the shortest route became the longest route. I was angry.
I walked home from where the bus dropped me off.
By that bus stop I passed a wooden crate.
I turned around and it dawned on me to let my frustration out on the wooden crate, so I jumped on it and broke it.
Then I walked further.
Further there was another crate leaning on a grate. I picked it up and threw it against the sidewalk. Then I kicked and broke part of it.
I hit another grate but didn’t necessarily want to wake people up.
I came home past 5am and sat in front of the computer. I listened to lil wayne’s song where there is a part that goes like “…and fuck these bitches, I swear I care about everything but these bitches…” I decided to copy the lyrics by manually re-typing them and emphasize this part which was the chorus so I wrote two posts in my blog.
I was drunk so it was hard to type fast and accurately, but I let the errors show.
At about 6:09am I went to bed.
Setting: MMiddle School. A-a, a dreadful time of my life.
It was after class, and I was shuffling through the intimidating crowded hallway to to my next class.
…Out of the crowd jumps out a humorous, obnoxious kid and yells threateningly at my face:
YOU’RE GONNA DIE!!!
He vanishes back into the crowd.
I was terrified.
and fuck these bitches, i swear i care about everything but theses bitches, i-i dont’ care i so what these bitches, and i put young mulah baybe way above theses bitches. and fuck these bithes i swear i care about everything but these bithes. i-i fdon’t care i so what these bitchess, and i put young mullah baybe way abovere these bitches. and fuck tehses bitches, i swear i care about everyting but these btiches. i-i dont care i so what these bitches, and i put your mullah baybey way abover these bitchers. and fuck there bitches i care i swear i care about evertything but thess bitches, i-i fon;t care i so thwha t there bitches and i put young mullah baybe way aboe there bitches. iad fuck these bitches i sewera i care about everythin but these bitches. i-i don’t care i so what ??? these bitches and i put young mullah baybe way abovet herese bitches. and fuck these bitces, i swear i pcare about everytin but these bitches, i-i fon;t carei so wha these bitches, an i put youn g mullah baybe way above these bitches. and fuck these bithces, i swear i care about everyting but these bitches. I -i fdon’t care i so what these bitches:'” and i put young mullah baybe way above there bitches…. and FUCK these Bitches. i swear i care about everyting but these bITTCHES ,, i 0i i sont care i S”SO what? these GITCHES . and ” i put young mullah baybe waty above these bitches. and fuck these buitches i swear i care abouvt aneverything abut thesr bitches i ii dont; acare i so what theese bithces and i ut young pmmullah baybe way above tgeres bitchers. iand fuck thesebithces i wswera i care about everytinng but these bithcehs. iii i so what theses bitgeschs na di pu tyoun gmulah baybey way abouve these bitches. and fuck these bithches ano i so sdo tn nthe i dii dpnt cai dont care i so what these bitches anf i sweari i care about everythin but these bitches. and idoont care i so waht these bitches and i put young mullah bayb way abother these bitches. And fuck these bitches i wswear i don’t care about everythin g but these bitches,. and iii don’t care i so thawat these bitches and i put young ,mullah baybe way abotherver thereshtsethese bitches. and fuck thes bitches i sewwwear i sondt tcar about anything an i wswera i cancare abouev aeverything but these bitches., aiii don’t don th care i son sp what these bithceres and i put uyounf g mullah baybe yu way abouve these bitches. and fuck these bitches i swear i don’t cate about many thing but thetses bithece i swear i care about everything but these bithcer. andnd ii i dso what whetthese bitces and ti put young mullah baybe way abover theresse bitches. and fucfk these bitches i swear i care about everything but theiese bigthce …ii-i don’t care i so what theses bitche?:” es and i puput young mullah baybe way above these bitches. and fuck these gbitches a=i swear i sodn’i care ce about everythign but theses bitcheser and. ii’ i so what these bithes nad i out yong mulah baybe way bapueve these bitches…
man fuck theses bitches, i swera i’ma spare everything but these bitches, and i put young mula baby way above these bithes. yeah fuck these bitches , i swear i care about everything but these bitches, and i swear i put everything above these bitches. and i don’t care i so what these bitches and i put young mullah way above these bitches. i [ut everything ways aove therese bitches. if it aint broke dont break it. and if he aint shook dont shaknk em. cause if a wolf cy wolf you still see that wolf teath futurictic handgun if you act foul you get two shot ad one. you nigas softer that roassans sone you cannot reach me on my samsung and busy giving the universe my dam tonguge crazy muthufucka i am one, but the crazy thing is i began one. all white brick i’m stratight like its jumpin back to 36 nigga. bog hous ling hall ways got ten bathroon i can shit all day nigga. and we don’t want no problems ok youre a goon but whas a goon to a golblin. yeahhhh it cam on the beat i fuck and leave a nigga brains on the streeet eehhh. now pop that pussy i bring er to tthe bedroom and pop that pussy ahaha and we be steady mobbing ok kimosabi big ballin is my hobby.
what the fuck is iup is guucci mane the gi it tuiity boy no city boy so why she no nike boy this gucci boy keep shitting on me. this gucci prade boy this gucci boy jkeep buyign shit this ak 47 will hit you from the ankle up. fuck that nigga kill that nigga bring them back and him again. ok i’m reloaded sagger bo bright i don’t wven mneeed lights i’m with a omeddel broad and se don teven eat rice would ou believe. she ask me for a pitch and i gave her three strikes. yeah i’m the sman around this muhtufucker . i’m so hot you prob catch a tan aroung this mothurfucker, this rap game i got my hand aroud this mutufucker., yeah i said game but i aitn playing abroung this muthufuckesr. yeahhhh. i’m the best to evea do it bitch , and you the best at never doing shit. if you the shit then i am serwer rich,/ i swers that i could fuck your girls and make her steal for me and kill for me . d then i murder that bitch and turn her body back to our cassh.. and we dont want no problems ok your a goon but whats a goon to a bgonlin. i came on the beat i fuck around and leave a nigga brains on the street. no pop thatt puusssay i bring her to my bedroom and pop that pussay. ok steady mofbbing ewe kimossabe and balling is my hoobby. ok ksvk my clip swallow my bullet sand dont you spit uppppp. i ‘ am the ship hop socialing i and the hip hop socialist lif is a gamble when yout r all about ou poker chips do tou want dose ioo f this i will make the most f this f i s for ferocious musrder your associates mured you acssotitaes keep a hard dick for youir girl to wobble on. eeeeeewwww. and we be stead mobbindg esww kimosabe and big ballin is my hobby. now pop that pussy bring her to my bedroom and pop that pussy. i fuk aaround and leave that nigga brain on the street. and we don’t want no problem , ok your a goon but whats a gon to a goblin. yeahhhh i came on the beat i fuck and bleave a nigga brain on the street i brin g her to my bed and pop that pussyand we be stead y mogbbin and ok kimosabe and big ballin ais my hobby