This afternoon I observed the most beautiful young lady who is dedicated to a religion I have ever seen. She came onto the subway and sat across from me next to another religious lady. But the contrast of beauty between the two ladies was day and night, and the plumpier one was definitely not ugly. She was Jewish, serious about it and blended in with all the other Jewish girls. I knew the prettier one must have been religious because of her attire, I guessed she was Jewish too. When I first noticed her, her head was dropped as she was looking inside her quaint pretty black purse, her dark lengthy hair sheltering her pure white face from the outside world, a curtain of hair dropped in front of her face covering it up mysteriously and naturally, save for the right side of her face, inviting a gaze like a door cracked open into a room with warm glowing light. She pushed her hair away from the front of her face, only to have it fall fight back. She was ripping off discount cards from their template and her legs were closed, feet perfectly together on the floor. Tidy, cute.
I was going to read homework but it was too intriguingly beautiful a sight to pass up and I wanted to make the most of it. Contemplate, figure her out. I’ll stay on as long as she does and get off at 4th ave instead of the closer jay st-borough hall since I can transfer to the right train from both stops. She then took out a tiny thin book, thinner then the religious text the lady to her right was immersed in, mouthing the words slightly. Without wasting time she too immersed herself in it, slightly silently pronouncing the words with her sexy lips. Her eyebrows and forehead furrowed a bit, albeit without a single hard crease unlike the woman to her right. Her skin was too light and soft to create a hard crease. She never looked up at me or anything else; she just read. Great boobs. I checked her hips—yes great proportion. Not fat at all. So we have a flawless seriously religious young lady on our hands. Had she been wearing a shorter skirt and a tank-top instead, I would have thought she was a supermodel.
Why is someone so beautiful religious? Sure there’s plenty of hot college blondes that claim religion is a big part of their life, but who are they kidding with that hypocrisy when you see them promiscuously party it up like good college girls are supposed to? This one was suspicious. I guess artists and Jews have something fundamental in common. How does someone so beautiful become a dedicated religious person? Could it be the same way a kid decides to pursue art? A person has to be abnormal, weird or different to become an artist. Nobody just goes along with the mainstream way of life and becomes an artist. Its when the mainstream mentality and way of life do not fulfill something, when a person for some reason can’t rationalize like the masses and feels that is a problem, perhaps making him feel isolated or an outsider when he starts questioning and contemplating the accepted mentality and popular way of going about life that he realizes that it just isn’t working and that he must find other answers and then share himself to others. He seeks another way to explain the world. Perhaps religion is similar. No one just wakes up feeling dandy, feeling great about themselves and then says, “why don’t I become a hardcore Jew and dedicate my life to repeating prayers and serving God? People only do that if they realize their life is not going smoothly and they fall back on these things as ways to escape the popular expectations and paths and find comfort in a different path. The religious or artistic path is like a crutch they start using and looking up to. I associated myself with art because my experiences didn’t allow me to cope with the way the masses saw life. I felt like this can’t be right, because I’m trying to do what and be like they are, but it’s just not working, it’s not comfortable, and I have concerns that their methods don’t address. Maybe someone has trouble accepting how most others look at life, their convictions, morals, and figures to look up to a religion as a guide to the correct, best, and most positive way, and a world that will reassure that everything will be fine as long as you obey certain rules etc.
But how does a beautiful person fall into religion besides if the parents are very religious and the child obedient? If you are so beautiful then what isn’t working in your life? What’s giving you difficulty if you already have the most important thing figured out in life (image and beauty)? Beautiful people have it easier because… well it’s pretty apparent. I understand why an average or ugly looking person may pull out a religious text in the subway and read it on a regular basis cause they need to find reassurance that everything is ok, they need to be comforted, and the people around them have not treated them ideally. It’s such a weird image to see a beautiful person be dedicated to religion. It’s so intriguing to watch because it makes the religion sexy, sells it, which is strange, and it bring about sorrow in me. And you know the person is not trying to be beautiful, or express “sexy,” but they just can’t help it. It’s just more expected for gorgeous girls to walk on runways and accept men’s drinks at upscale clubs. By becoming an artist or a Jew you become a minority, and why I say Jew rather than Christian is because there are way less Jews in the world then Christians and because both artists and Jews have sort of been pushed around and often not been able to find peace or a place within the world and society. They are outsiders.
I checked her necklace expecting a star of David or a cross, but there was a hanging heart. I checked her left hand and sure enough she was married or engaged. Then I wondered if she thought about her husband as much as she thought about god, and (if she’s that kind of girl) screamed “Oh God, oh God” or her husband’s name—“Oh Efrayim, oh Efrayim” in bed. What if religion is bullshit and there is no god in the end? Then all the dead religious people would pause and say, “oh, shoot, oops.” They could’ve spent all that religious time thinking about their s/o but instead they thought about and obeyed an imaginary idea. Then she finished reading the tiny book (while the woman to her right kept going at it persistently) and put it away. For a while she kept a pretty contemplative look on her face looking off into nowhere particular, the distance in front of her to the left and to her right with a large tilt of her head. What was she thinking about? Whatever it was, she looked so pretty doing it. The way she looked to the side with her head tilted the shiny whites of her eyes with dark-brown pupils turned one way. It was such a longing, innocent, gorgeous, calm look. Picture perfect. So glamorous, yet with no intent to be so.
Then she took out headphones and her phone and started listening to music I guess. This made me wonder if maybe this whole religious thing was a ploy to ward off sleazy men from hitting on her. Cause it would work, and with her beauty she would need it in order to not be a bitch, or be able to ask strange men for directions and not be held in place for an additional 10 minutes of conversation, or be envied by other women. But would more Jewish men hit on her? Maybe she married a very religious man on the condition that she convert to orthodox Judaism and now she did and she’s trying to be Jewish. Then it was my stop and I had to get off the subway.