I am not certain that the following recollection of these few events have much significance, however, it is their random insignificance that have inspired me to document and re-tell the story. It is my opinion, that it matters not what happened before, nor whatever happened after this event, but you, the reader are free to come up with your own meaning and conclusion about significance. Furthermore, I must forewarn you that there is one unexpected event here, that you should not know about before reading the story for it to have impact, so hopefully you have not read the prologue.
I was walking on the sidewalk, determined to get back home from the subway in the evening.
I was about to pass a middle-aged lady in a black jacket, and before I passed her I already knew she was probably suspicious of footsteps coming-up behind her and was likely going to turn her head to look at me to make sure I wasn’t threatening. (I regularly glance at people I’m passing because I’m always curious about strangers.)
So we both looked at each other as I walked by her side. She was middle-aged or so and I wondered what she thought of me.
Another man, who looked Hispanic from a distance, just crossed the street and was walking towards us. And as I turned away from the lady I looked down at the ground and noticed there was a dollar bill lying there. I instinctively reached for it, picked it up, suspicious and puzzled to find it particularly folded and noticed the man seemed like he spotted it on the ground as well. I was surprised, put the dollar in my pocket and kept walking.
It has been said before that when all else fails to interest or humor the listener when telling a story it is most useful to resort to the following exclamation at the end: And then I found 5 dollars!
I was in grade school and was celebrating my birthday with my Russian-accent-family and the few new friends i invited over to our house. It was time to bring out the birthday cake. AS it was beign brought out everyone started singing the birthday song. The cake was set on the table by me with all the candles burning. As they were singing i decided to do something funny and original. It occured to me that the action of blowing out the candles seemed a lot like sneezing, so i decided to fake a sneez and blow out the candles as if i was sneezing. I got really excited cause everyone was going to find it hilarious and dramatic that i “sneezed” on the cake and blew out the candles that way. Everyone would laugh and i would feel really cool. As the birthday song finished i prepared. then i wound up and catapulted my upper body forward and downwards toward the cake as if it was a big sneeze, and made an “AAHHHHHHhh-CHOOOOOOO” as i blew air out of my mouth onto the cake, i realized its kind of hard to look like your sneezing and blow air out your mouth at the same time, and somehow the unexpected happened. I actually sneezed out snot as my face was headed at the cake. my hands were by my face and caught the snot before it hit the cake. The sequence turned out to be dramatically shitty, and not illusional. My new friends who i really wanted to be my friends were disgusted, and repulsed that i sneezed on the cake. They thought i was so uncool and would probably tell everyone at schol and i’d end up being the loser that i was. I was upset. I tried to fake sneeze, but i actually sneezed and everyone probably thought it was real, and i looked foolish. it was tragic and funny, but nobody except me knew it was accidental.
I forgot what i was wishing for, (probably more friends) but thats the story of the most unfortunate birthday cake candle blow-out, and the moment i became a joke.